A Few Hilariously Stupid Highlights: Sarah’s Speech in Hamilton Ontario

There is an interesting background to this SarahGig in Hamilton: I wrote it up on a separate page, including news stories/comments when it was announced, in December 2008, that Sarah Palin had accepted a speaking engagement.  Originally, the fundraiser was for  another cause… … funny how that worked out!!!  It’s worth reading, because you can’t make this stuff up! Hint: Charities were changed!

The whole speech was available on the Globe and Mail, and thanks to the brave soul who had the job of transcribing this into English.  As a public service?

I hope anyone who is thinking of paying this woman to ‘speak’ will thank the Globe and Mail for helping them dodge a bullet. NOTE 08/16/2010: SPEECH IS NO LONGER AVAILBLE AT THE GLOBE AND MAIL LINK… BUT YOU CAN FIND IT HERE (good thing I Cut&Pasted it at the time!)
I read the whole thing, it’s mind-numbingly incoherent.  For a good drinking game, zero in on how often she is ‘grateful’ and ‘admires our two great countries’  Take 2 drinks whenever she praises herself/audience for their generosity in ’being here tonight’  Does Sarah think we don’t KNOW she got paid 3X MORE than the charity for which this event is held??

There’s a history of the Al-Can highway, complete with buggy swamps …  an insightful paragraph about how energy runs cars and turns on lights (gee, who knew?).   OH! and what a YEAR she and Todd had! I am sure it was easier living that year than reading about it, or having to listen to it because you blew $200/plate ….. anyway, didn’t Sarah already whine about all this in her book?

She begins:

I don’t know if I should Buenos Aires or Bonjour, or… this is such a melting pot. This is so beautiful. I love this diversity. Yeah.

No Sarah, you shouldn’t ‘Buenos Aires’ .  (since you asked) In your tiny little mind, are you trying to say Buenos Dias? And if so, why? You’re in Canada, not Mexico … Buenos Aires is a city in Argentina. Anyway, isn’t it nightime there?   As for ‘Bonjour’  .. nice try, but it’s still nightime. FAIL

 I will talk a lot about energy, because I want to talk about some of the things that both our countries, America and Canada, can do to ramp up production so that we can ramp up our economy, get it roaring back to life and a lot of that has to do with energy production, which I know that you all in Hamilton and this part of Canada can really respect and relate to, because the better our economies do, the better we do in terms of having opportunity to help children and to help those who are less fortunate, the better the rest of us do. We’ll talk a little bit about energy.

Sarah: it’s YOUR speech, make up your freaking mind! Are you going to talk ‘a lot’ about energy OR are you going to talk ‘a little bit’ about energy??   My suggestion is that you skip the topic altogether, since you don’t know anything about it. Really.

But too, my first five years of life were spent right there on the border of Canada, right next to you all, but further away.

Yep. Right on the border but further away.

But wonderful to be here where your heart is obviously is in the right place, your wanting to help other people and um, it’s wonderful to be in Hamilton

Doesn’t occur to Sarah that SHE is getting paid $100,000+ to ‘be here’ ……. what does that say about HER heart??

I want to talk real quick about purpose in life and it not being an accident that you are all here today together at this time, in this hour, there is a reason things just worked out for all of us to get to be here.

Yeah, Sarah. There was a check with your name on it, that’s the reason you are there. The audience?? No rational explanation for that. Maybe the Psych Ward in the Socialist hospitals were full? That could be ‘the reason things just worked out for all of us to get to be here’ But, I am pretty sure none of them came by to hear you lecture them about ‘the purpose in life’.

Sometimes when I have just a second to stop and think about things, maybe just one of these events is pretty earthquake equivalent of, it’s pretty earth shattering, just one of these events

JAYSUS ……. there isn’t much to say about this one is there …it’s like an earthquake that just keeps quaking??? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???

First of all I was very, very busy. I was governor of Alaska and not having been elected at a relatively young age, at the time looking back I think I was young back then when I was first elected, it seems eons ago.

I just want to remind you, here … some people think that the woman who said that  should be President. Of the United States, no less.  I for one, I am glad that she has ‘not having been elected’ at any age, but especially on Nov 3, 2008!

Well, while I was younger I was busy, I was the chairman of the state’s oil and gas commission, so dealing on a national level with oil and gas issues. Having four kids, our oldest son, Track, who grew up obsessed with hockey. He too, like all of us hockey moms, he just thought he was going to be the next Wayne Gretzky.

The above quote is an example of why Sarah’s speeches are often referred to as ‘word salad’.

And then, around that same time Todd and I found out, well I found out, I don’t know how much he has to do with it. I found out that I was pregnant.

See? It’s just one incoherent thought after another….. she just goes on and on like a demented Chatty Cathy doll who doesn’t know if/when/how Todd …. Todd what??? Knew? Doesn’t know how babies are made?? WHAT?????????

Ronald Regan once remarked that Canada and the United States share more than a common border, we share a democratic tradition and hopes and dreams and aspirations of a free people. And he said that hope has made a difference in our lives. That’s why we’re here tonight.

Again. Sarah. ‘We’ are here tonight because YOU got paid to be there, otherwise, YOU wouldn’t be part of the WE. 

One person, a lot of people that we see, if individuals decide to get together and to gather to support such a worthy cause, helping children, together there’s no limit to what can be accomplished.

One person got a CHECK, and a lot people paid too much money. Not much went to a ‘worthy cause’ unless that worthy cause is Rent-a-Jet.

We North Americans we come from the stock of our ancestors.

……….. as opposed to Europeans or Asians, who come out of thin air???

This is not by any means a complete list ….. because seriously, the whole thing is a joke!  Add your favorite ones!
So again, also, hmmm, too, great to be here, also too the complete transcript of the speech can be found here.

Miscellaneous Mindless PalinBot Quotes. VERBATIM!

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